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Message boards : General discussion : FUNNY THREAD

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Profile HollyXYZ
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Message 3853 - Posted: 7 Aug 2006 | 17:28:26 UTC

only for german-speaking members:

LACH DOCH MAL WIEDER or DIESE HIER








BYE H (°!°)
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Message 6219 - Posted: 18 Jul 2007 | 21:16:30 UTC

Hello to all here ;-)
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Message 6871 - Posted: 9 Sep 2007 | 22:19:33 UTC - in response to Message 6219.

Hello to all here ;-)



Greetings !!!! :o)

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Message 8222 - Posted: 4 Feb 2008 | 3:33:38 UTC
Last modified: 4 Feb 2008 | 3:35:51 UTC

Test2
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Message 8583 - Posted: 29 Mar 2008 | 19:41:37 UTC

Funny Google Ads on Primegrid:


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Why people joined BOINC Synergy...

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Message 8906 - Posted: 29 Apr 2008 | 21:34:31 UTC

Something on our local news here in Portland, Oregon:

The new voter pamphlets were sent out last week for our upcoming state primaries in May. The news last night said that the letter on the inside front cover from our Secretary of State has an erroneous phone number to call if you have any election questions. The number printed in the pamphlet is (800) abc-defg, which makes sense as the phone number corresponded to letters that were plausible for the State of Oregon elections office. However, it turned out that the number itself didn't put you to the State of Oregon elections office, but rather to a phone sex line! The number printed in the book should have been (866) abc-defg. I think it's taking politics to a whole new level!
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Message 8908 - Posted: 29 Apr 2008 | 21:57:49 UTC

Lol, I love the state I live in but I must admit, Minnesota has its issues *cough* bridges *cough*. But that is very hilarious.
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Message 9007 - Posted: 11 May 2008 | 21:20:06 UTC

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo

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Message 9017 - Posted: 12 May 2008 | 14:26:41 UTC - in response to Message 9007.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo

Why does your nose run but your feet smell?

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Message 9036 - Posted: 15 May 2008 | 3:04:17 UTC - in response to Message 9017.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo

Why does your nose run but your feet smell?


LOL the cure: 1. The "real" Sudafed with Pseudoephedrine
2. And a shower daily!


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Message 9431 - Posted: 3 Jul 2008 | 15:42:22 UTC

There are no dogs allowed here
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

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Message 9432 - Posted: 3 Jul 2008 | 15:46:58 UTC

Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Profile Matthew Love
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Message 9880 - Posted: 1 Aug 2008 | 1:15:57 UTC

You might be a redneck if...

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Profile Matthew Love
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Message 9893 - Posted: 1 Aug 2008 | 18:35:56 UTC

Marriage quote
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

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Message 9957 - Posted: 5 Aug 2008 | 13:25:52 UTC
Last modified: 5 Aug 2008 | 13:27:56 UTC

"Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached."


Thats not to say I wouldn't love a great woman with a wonderful personality if I ever meet a woman like that :)
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Message 10123 - Posted: 16 Aug 2008 | 20:24:28 UTC

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Message 10138 - Posted: 18 Aug 2008 | 2:00:33 UTC

You've got mail
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

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Message 10234 - Posted: 22 Aug 2008 | 12:42:19 UTC
Last modified: 22 Aug 2008 | 13:21:20 UTC

Hi @all ... I think a coffee is good idea between the challenge!
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Message 10283 - Posted: 22 Aug 2008 | 22:28:56 UTC

You might be a redneck if...

Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA

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Message 10381 - Posted: 24 Aug 2008 | 12:36:21 UTC

Who pulled your chain?

and who have cut the cake, that you little crumb answer?
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Message 10388 - Posted: 25 Aug 2008 | 1:19:41 UTC

Top Ten Signs Your Airline is Cutting Costs




10. During flight they hit you with additional $200 "landing charge"

9. It's day 4 of your honeymoon and you're still on the tarmac

8. Plane has a "Hyundai" hood ornament

7. When you arrive, Hawaii looks suspiciously like Detroit

6. Inflatable vest replaced with smaller inflatable bow ties

5. Plane can't take off until you lose 20 pounds

4. In-flight entertainment: watching two fat guys fight for an armrest

3. Flight attendants wearing clothes you packed

2.The pilot -- Andy Dick. Seriously, Andy, we love you and want you to get help!

1. During the captain's preflight checklist, you hear him say, "close enough"

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Message 10427 - Posted: 26 Aug 2008 | 21:06:31 UTC

Rookie is on the job
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner... NOW!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop."

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Message 10460 - Posted: 28 Aug 2008 | 0:43:11 UTC
Last modified: 28 Aug 2008 | 0:45:28 UTC

You might be a redneck if ...
You can identify your friends by the sound of their mufflers.

You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne.

You put a Clapper on your headlights

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Message 11264 - Posted: 23 Oct 2008 | 16:26:39 UTC

New Yorkers arrived
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang.

walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God,

there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?".

God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell."

St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling "God, God, they're gone, they're gone!"

"Who, the New Yorkers?".

"No, the Pearly Gates."

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Message 11356 - Posted: 30 Oct 2008 | 22:00:43 UTC

A blind man vists the state of Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Message boards : General discussion : FUNNY THREAD

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